Life on the Farm: Neil is

Friday, August 31, 2012

Neil is

14. And I just deleted all the pictures of his cake and birthday dinner off my camera. Great. Fucking great. Let's pretend there is a picture here of Neil blowing out the candles off his (homemade) cheesecake.

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Overheard

Neil: "Today in Ms. Tyding's class we watched Supersize Me, and all I could think was that I really, really wanted a hamburger."
Gus: "I was watching World's Stupidest People and a guy robbed a Sex Shop. But I exited off right away."
Neil: "Actually mom, I called him (Gus) a BAT'S TURD".
Bay stood on the porch last night and yelled: "NEIL!! MOM SAYS YOU HAVE TO COME IN HERE!!! SHE IS GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" (He did not come in.)
Gene, when someone suggested that his Physical Therapist's opinion was not a doctor's opinion and therefore not relevent as to whether Gene participated in Track: ParaEducator:" Physical Therapist? I don't think that's a doctor's note so I'm not going to listen." Gene: "ParaEducator? I don't think that's a TEACHER so I'm not going to listen:. He DID get sent to see the Principal for this one.
Bay, when I reminded her that she really can't suck her fingers anymore (cried) "Why is it so hard growing up?"
Bay (as Joey walked in the door): "Joey! Make me some NOODLES?"
Bay, answering the doctor when he asked if she "had any problems", in a very high pitched giggle "I love my life!" (SERIOUSLY)
Neil, answering the doctor during his "well child" exam, when asked if he "bruises easily": "Only when I'm punched or hit". (I expected CPS to be waiting outside for me....)
Bay begins lots of sentences with "Even".... there is something so cute about it... Yesterday's was "Even I can shayor my cookie with Siwi"
Bay, reflecting on her recent birthday, with a sting at the end for me: "I wemembaw my birthday when I was five and I blew out the candles and the cake was NOT chocolate". (Ouch.)
Bay to Neil, having become frustrated listening to him spell words to wrangle a trip to the park without Bay: "NEIL! No more spelling letters or I'll make you a bloody NOSE!"
Gus to Bay as she opened her dangerously automated birthday umbrella next to him : "BAY! WATCH IT! I could've been KILLED"
Gus in response to Mrs. Curtin's question about how the Wii was going (Gus answered in his typical deadpan) : "Yeah, it's really cool. Too bad we're giving it to Mr. Rooney since you're moving"
Bay, whispered ticklishly in my ear, before going birthday shopping with Trent : "Wouldn't you like a necklace?" Me: "I'd really like some new wooden spoons." Bay: "Wouldn't you like a necklace?" Me : "Or some wooden spoons." Bay : "I think I'm going to get you a necklace".
Gus to Mrs Nunn, regarding Mrs Curtin's move (he is too sad to talk to Mrs Curtin about it) "Isn't it just SO sad?"
Gus : "Well... did you hear that Mrs Curtin is moving?" Then he cried and cried and cried and cried.
Bay: (to Neil, holding up his music book while he was practising the trumpet)..."How do you read this, Neil??"
Gus and Tom having a delicious breakfast at Dearbhla and Tom's : Gus said, "I don't like the eggs." I replied "They're great Gus. They are organic, farm fresh eggs." A few minutes later, he said "I know why I don't like these eggs." So I asked, "Why's that Gus?". He responded, "They're cold."
Gus (at the most whimsical cupcake shop in Victoria, a veritable child's playground!) "This place is SOOOOO annoying!"
Bay; (on a very hot day in the garden) "Mom, I'm going inside to cool up".
Gus "MOM! Where's the hot glue gun".....
Gus: (having hit his head off the kitchen door frame) "This door is SOOOOO annoying"
Bay (watching Siri jumping around in the tall grass, apparently trying to catch something) (Said in a very resigned voice) "There's Siri twying to catch a mouse... or maybe some mouselings".
Gus (after he was dropped home by Trent's only minutes after they left for baseball) "I was only a little BIT annoyed in the car".
Gus: "What's the name of this road" Me: "Camp Hayden Road". Gus: "It's called after a DRUG?" Me : "Nooo... Camp Hayden... Camp Hayden". Gus: "Yeah... isn't that a drug...campcain?" Me : "ohhhh COCAINE????" Gus :"Yeah... that's it.... Cocaine!"
Bay: "Neeel! Com'on lets go dig"
Gene (on Earth Day while we prepped the ground for our organic seeds) : "Why don't we just spray the whole thing with Round-Up?"
Terry: "Brian had to leave early this morning." Me: Where did he have to be?" (I'm thinking rugby or something) Terry: "Brazil".
Me: "Gene, do you know how to spell "rhetorical"? Gene: "Do you know how to spell "remedial"? (He was not being ironic!)
"When are we bringing the TV back into OUR room?" (Bay, to me... referring to mine and TRENT'S room)
"The beach is SOOOO annoying" (Gus, on his way home from the beach)
"AHHH! Something just licked my leg" (Gene, during a game of Banagrams... it was Siri)
"NEIL! You hit me in the button!!" (Bay to Neil)
"MOM! Do you know where the blow torch is?" (Gus)
"THOSE are MY handcuffs!!!" (Neil to Gus)