A tangled mess.

One thing I like about my pump: not having to grab my Pens before leaving the house and then having to have them with me.  Now I just LEAVE the house.  Pump on board.

Five things that I DON'T like about my pump:

#1   (And the most irritating) is people who do NOT have diabetes telling me HOW much I'm going TO  LOVE my pump.  I'm okay with medical people or people who KNOW someone with a pump.  But to everyone else sipping their  beer/wine/cooler/mocha/monster:   Really??  Cause why don't you try sticking this giant ass needle subcutaneously into YOUR stomach and get back to me or MAYBE you should:  just.  Shut.  The.  Fuck.  Up.

#2  Tangled Up Tubing Syndrome (TUTS)  I sleep with my pump next to me or under my pillow but wake up with it impossibly wrapped around my body.

#2  Snagged Tubing Syndrome (STS).  Twice I have snagged the tubing on a door handle and although it does not hurt to rip the catheter out, it is a weird sensation.  And then it is aggravating to have to go through a whole new set change and stick.

#3  Realizing that I am walking around with excess tubing visible.  It just looks weird. 

#4  Set changes.

#5  Beeps and alarms.  Essential and handy.  Possibly life-saving.  But that doesn't mean I have to like them.

#7  Inspired by LisaP.

pee or get off

Very lame.  Very, very lame.  I need to either blog or NOT.  But this on-again-off-again means a few things...  One: that facebook has taken over a huge portion of what was once: reading/journaling/blogging time.  Two: that it still feels a little strange to journal in a public forum and Three: that life is as busy with all the boys in school as it was when I had two out of three of them home, it's just busy in different ways.

When I finally opened this blog up last night and looked at my last entry I realized that EVEN if only to note that I was RIGHT after all (neener neener) I must blog once more to add that  I AM diabetic (so THERE).  I would like to say this publicly so that I don't look like a self-absorbed hypochondriac.  (I am aware that while a hypochondriac?  I may not be; self-absorbed ? I probably AM.)  Most people would (and should) be more concerned with BEING diabetic.  Me?  I'm more worried about being RIGHT.  UTI  my arse.  I  am  SOOOOO diabetic. 

On the other hand, as blasè as I was, I was not terribly concerned with the mechanics of being diabetic and I have learned that it is NOT as simple as I thought it would be.  CF clinic advise eating my normal diet and just adding insulin before meals based on whatever my blood sugar is before the meal.  If I do this, I am still spiking some highs (not alarming highs, but highs none the less).  Having tried this method since the end of November, I'm not sure I like it very much.  I have been advised to ignore all typical diabetic rules and I'm not sure that I like THAT very much either.  CFRD (CF relate diabetes - come-on people....) is different to regular diabetes, but the overall risks and complications of regular diabetes still apply to me, hence my confusion...  It doesn't quite make sense to me to totally ignore my diet.

Now, having said that.  Crap!  It seriously takes some practice and some serious discipline (this from the girl who bought Pepsi on Friday for pizza night....)  and meals become a little more scientific and a lot more predictable and a lot less FUN.  Diabetics have to seriously plan their food and then STICK to the plan...  This didn't seem like a big deal at first, but I'm a month into it and I'm still finding myself doing stEW-pid things...

One of my first day taking insulin I was all on board with the idea of being ready to eat, testing the blood, taking the shot.  So, at lunch time Day Four, I did just that.  Then realized that I had NO idea WHAT I was going to eat and so I started my usual rummage.  THEN it dawned on me that I had already taken my insulin (FOOL) and so had to scurry and get something in me before the insulin hit.  (Dumbass).

The next day I was all ready to do things right.  MADE my favorite toasted tomato, cheese, Worcester Sauce sandwich.  Put it on the table ( or "plated it" as us obnoxious foodies like to say....).  Turned around and THEN did my test, did my shot, turned back.  Found Drake wolfing down one half of my lunch.  (His only complaint : less Worcester Sauce for him next time).

A few days later I got even further.  As I was about to eat, there was a knock at the door.  It was Gus's friend's mom, here to pick her son up.  I'm by nature chatty and by the time we chatted and she left I had played it CLOSE  (moron) and had to scramble to eat before my blood sugar (BS? oh hahaha) dropped.

or maybeeeeeeeeeeeee....

it's not diabetes at all and just a bladder infection....  Huh.  I went and had a blood draw today for my local doctor... He had given me lab orders to have a blood draw done in December to see where my blood sugars were at that time, but I figure by December I'll be insulin dependant so I just walked in and had it done.  He called this evening (yes, the DOCTOR actually called me.... huh.... nice.... and I wondered if I really wanted a local pulminologist.....)  to report that my blood sugar (A1C specifically....) was 7.3  with my actual blood sugar was a nice calm and collected 96.  This is so normal that had I NOT stopped buying coke I would have had one there and then.  (I might have one tomorrow....)  He suggested I do another lab tomorrow to rule out a bladder infection (which can raise blood sugars...   - who knew??)

Did I mention that I can't drink Coke anymore???

My CF team is out of town at a CF conference.  So, I've been kind of figuring out this diabetes thing on my own for now.  My numbers are not THAT high that I have to worry (and I  HAVE talked to a nurse at the clinic who is covering the phones...  (however NOT to be mean, but I think that I answered most of my questions for her and I think she was pretty clueless to begin with).  She suggested that I (a) start testing my blood sugars regularly... fasting and pre-meals (DUH) and (b) that I avoid any of the "bad" foods...  (again...  REALLY???  Y'THINK?  DUH).  I am pretty sure that my bitchiness and cynicism have been impacted by my higher levels.  I'll catch up with the dietician when she gets back next week and I think I'm scheduled to be in clinic anyway the following week for a quarterly visit.  Let the games beGIN.

No coke.

What a miserable blog post title.  I'm pretty sure I am diabetic.  The only question now is, will I have to use medication or will I try diet.  Dietary restriction doesn't usually work with CF.  I'm waiting to hear from the U on that one.  I don't think anyone is going to panic about it, it's not like it's a big surprise.  The only surprising thing is that I don't really feel all that different.  I started some random testing after I had a noticable "low blood sugar" one night, but I wasn't actually low... I was a nice 77....  Then figured I might want to check what number I'm running at the rest of the time... this explained the "low" symptoms.  I WAS low in comparison to my new blood sugar levels which are in the 200 - 300s.  (Normal is someplace around 70 - 120).  I'll really miss my coke.  Really.  And I'm probably going to go on about it quite a LOT.