pee or get off

Very lame.  Very, very lame.  I need to either blog or NOT.  But this on-again-off-again means a few things...  One: that facebook has taken over a huge portion of what was once: reading/journaling/blogging time.  Two: that it still feels a little strange to journal in a public forum and Three: that life is as busy with all the boys in school as it was when I had two out of three of them home, it's just busy in different ways.

When I finally opened this blog up last night and looked at my last entry I realized that EVEN if only to note that I was RIGHT after all (neener neener) I must blog once more to add that  I AM diabetic (so THERE).  I would like to say this publicly so that I don't look like a self-absorbed hypochondriac.  (I am aware that while a hypochondriac?  I may not be; self-absorbed ? I probably AM.)  Most people would (and should) be more concerned with BEING diabetic.  Me?  I'm more worried about being RIGHT.  UTI  my arse.  I  am  SOOOOO diabetic. 

On the other hand, as blasè as I was, I was not terribly concerned with the mechanics of being diabetic and I have learned that it is NOT as simple as I thought it would be.  CF clinic advise eating my normal diet and just adding insulin before meals based on whatever my blood sugar is before the meal.  If I do this, I am still spiking some highs (not alarming highs, but highs none the less).  Having tried this method since the end of November, I'm not sure I like it very much.  I have been advised to ignore all typical diabetic rules and I'm not sure that I like THAT very much either.  CFRD (CF relate diabetes - come-on people....) is different to regular diabetes, but the overall risks and complications of regular diabetes still apply to me, hence my confusion...  It doesn't quite make sense to me to totally ignore my diet.

Now, having said that.  Crap!  It seriously takes some practice and some serious discipline (this from the girl who bought Pepsi on Friday for pizza night....)  and meals become a little more scientific and a lot more predictable and a lot less FUN.  Diabetics have to seriously plan their food and then STICK to the plan...  This didn't seem like a big deal at first, but I'm a month into it and I'm still finding myself doing stEW-pid things...

One of my first day taking insulin I was all on board with the idea of being ready to eat, testing the blood, taking the shot.  So, at lunch time Day Four, I did just that.  Then realized that I had NO idea WHAT I was going to eat and so I started my usual rummage.  THEN it dawned on me that I had already taken my insulin (FOOL) and so had to scurry and get something in me before the insulin hit.  (Dumbass).

The next day I was all ready to do things right.  MADE my favorite toasted tomato, cheese, Worcester Sauce sandwich.  Put it on the table ( or "plated it" as us obnoxious foodies like to say....).  Turned around and THEN did my test, did my shot, turned back.  Found Drake wolfing down one half of my lunch.  (His only complaint : less Worcester Sauce for him next time).

A few days later I got even further.  As I was about to eat, there was a knock at the door.  It was Gus's friend's mom, here to pick her son up.  I'm by nature chatty and by the time we chatted and she left I had played it CLOSE  (moron) and had to scramble to eat before my blood sugar (BS? oh hahaha) dropped.